i’d arranged my flights and four-day weekend around BennyMac’s racing schedule – i’d packed my race bike because i wanted to have a crack at his tracks myself. unfortunately my flight leaving Coffs Harbour was delayed for four hours, so we both missed racing at Cross Keys that Wednesday night. the next evening tho, the club had a training  session i could be at, so i had a crack. had a stack of course – what ride on a new track could be complete without Violet doing her crash dummy impersonation? and loved the track. Cross Keys is much, much bigger than any track i’ve ridden before, and quite technical. the guys running the training session put us through some hard sprints and useful technical moves, i’ll certainly be accessing their training clinic again when the opportunity arises.

i caught up with some friends from my women’s forum during the day Thursday, and saw a bit more of Adelaide as BennyMac drove me around. it’s a big place, after living in Coffs Harbour for the last 27 years. so many people have told me “it’s just a big country town” but in all honesty, i found it a bit confusing and busy. especially with my inner compass out of whack, over here in NSW our beaches face east, not south!

Friday we cleaned bikes for the Radelaide event the next day. BennyMac has built me a first-generation Suparoo out of his own racing history, and as i do, i’ve given it a name – Wally-roo only problem was, we’d planned to go for a ride – damn, should have cleaned the bikes *after*! so we took the race cruisers out instead, and spent a leisurely afternoon exploring some of the creek tracks near his house.

the Radelaide day was an absolute ball picture a backyard, carport, and back deck adorned with row upon row of restored-to-their-full-glory vintage bmx bikes, surrounded by middle-aged big kids swapping stories, gorgeous sunny weather, good food, great beer, and lots of laughs. we rode down to the local for a change of scenery and a few more drinks, that was a laugh. the day was topped off by a Jon “Suparoo” Moore pool-jumping BennyMac’s bike to raise money for his Movember effort and a late night pizza run on the bikes.

it was fairly difficult to get up the next morning for racing, but we’d already missed two of the nights we’d planned, so up, packing bikes, and off to The Cove track. another monster track with a couple of tricky sections, The Cove is an absolute blast to ride. i took it very easy as i’d missed practice, and had hardly been on my cruiser in months. still, it was great to have a roll out of the gate and meet the clubbies, a very friendly bunch indeed.

on the way home we stopped in at another track, Happy Valley. another very technical track with lots of pumping, and a nasty set of woops just out of the last corner. had a great roll around on that too, testing my mettle and skill level. it’s all well and good rolling around, but when i get to race there, it’ll be a whole new and much more difficult story…

packing the bike Monday morning for the flight home was hard. i didn’t really want to leave. we have no tracks that good in my Northern NSW region, and although we’d originally planned for BennyMac to come for a working holiday in Coffs Harbour, it had become very clear to me that we simply couldn’t offer him the level of competition he’s used to, not to mention the difficulty of keeping up the standard required to race the Nationals at Mt Gambier in April. so once i got home, the decision that had been niggling at the back of my mind at the Radelaide day was firmed up – i’m now in the process of packing my house up, putting most of my things into storage, and committing to at least six months in Adelaide.

i want to ride the Nationals too, and the only way i’m going to make it happen is to get on these tracks of BennyMac’s and skill up.

back from the Retro Grands, i was exhausted and flat for the first week, the stress of leaving town for the first time in over a year had caught up with me. ever since, tho, BennyMac has been planning to get me to Adelaide to race with him on his home tracks.

i fly out on Wednesday, to race three meets and ride in an oldschool meet in four days

last night was first night in three months back racing my home track, and on my Kuwi. the last two months i’ve been on the Manik, riding 10-20k most days, mostly just cruising with a few hills. it’s certainly made me more confident, riding a tall, 16.8kg bike. i’ve added new skills as well.

last night’s cruiser gate had two of our young guns, 14yro and 18yro on 20″, our elder statesman Tez who’s 60 but 2NSW in two classes, a couple of 30+ riders, one unfit, myself, and a 39+ rider. all men but me. the unfit rider was behind us all night, but i was on the back wheel of the 39+ rider, and surprisingly, coming out of the gate even with him tho he’d get ahead of me in the first corner, then i’d be chasing him for the rest of the track. last race we pedalled to the end of the concrete pan of the start hill, then pumped the rest of the way, first time i’d ever done that. i held that rider up on our second berm by swooping under him and nearly got ahead, stoked.

and oh yeah, i just turned 47 

came home pumped, feeling like i was back on track, literally 

four sleeps till Adelaide!!!

6 hours on a train with a backpack, suitcase and bike box and two and a half in a ‘Yundi after being picked up by a fellow rider brought me to the property where we were staying the weekend. the owner of the house and organiser of the meet had, sadly, had an accident at work a few days before and was hospitalised with a smashed hip, though he still kindly threw his house open to Gazzz and myself from NSW, the Reverend from Victoria, and two of the SA boys.

Gazzz and i arrived to deathly quiet,only to have it shattered by the unearthly noises randomly emitting from the couch. yep, sure enough, the Reverend was flaked out after his drive, and the SA boys were no-where to be seen. being unable to wake the Reverend and fearing his wrath should we actually achieve his awakening, Gazzz and i started unpacking the ‘Yundi and sorting bikes.

my bedroom had already been snaffled so i thought meh, sort it later, and started re-assembling Nicole, the Apollo i’d built for the day. Gazz was on the phone to the house owner, Daz, because two of the horses had somehow got out of their paddock and words were being exchanged between them and one of the other gg’s over the fence. the Reverend had by this time finally emerged from his coma, so the three of us coaxed the incredibly tall walking walls of horseflesh back to their proper paddock and locked away the little one who thinks he’s a dog.

back to the bike,  i’d got to the point of tightening the bar clamps when the SA boys rocked up and the next hour or so was introductions, checking out bikes and swapping riding stories. then Mr Es went off to feed the horses, the Reverend and Gazzz went off to do inscrutable man things, and i was left with the other SA rider, BennyMac, still talking bikes and cars.

a half-dozen laps of the paddock later i thought i had my legs stretched and Nicole sorted enough and the bars in the right position. Mr Es and Gazzz went off to forage for food, and i sorted my room with the snaffler, BennyMac. once food arrived i started on salad, the boys naturally drifted out to the man cave/fire pit aka barbecue, and a few beers were had by all. the talk turned to more bikes, bike parts, riding, and food, dinner was consumed, and by 11pm i’d had enough and was heading for bed – we had racing the next day.

now earlier on, this young BennyMac had managed to get an arm around me while i was showing him photos on my phone. the boys had bailed out to the fire pit again right then, and i found myself being thoroughly kissed….very nice. cheeky and full of assumption on his part, but very nice indeed. so while i bailed off to bed alone,  i woke up a few hours later to Gazzz and BennyMac still talking shite, and of course BennyMac hadn’t made provision for where he was going to sleep….so the next morning, tho nothing was said, there was much wondering going on as to exactly what sleeping arrangements had ensued…

an awesome, cool, foggy morning gave way to a nicely cloudy day that was perfect for racing. the organisational skills of the club members meant that the day ran smoothly, the track was a bit on the scary side but well-finished, the food was awesome, canteen staff cheerful as, and the show-n-shine made wandering around spying on bikes heaps of fun. many chats were had with various OZBMX members, it was great to put faces to the names

only hiccup of the day was Violet doing her crash dummy routine in the final. the club had called a long hydration break between the motos and the finals as the day was getting warmer. i’d been wandering about, hydrating, eating a little, chatting to various randoms, and hanging out with BennyMac. it was fantastic to have company on the gate and to be support crew for each other – i’ve always been my own worst enemy at staging, getting upset and panicky on the gate. i’d taken the pressure off myself, knowing here i was on a brand new track, on a bike i’d never ridden on a track, a size i don’t normally ride even. i was happy to just cruise around and stay upright. we had a mixed gate, two pre-teens, two former champs, and the rest of us…i was cruising along in 6th and 7th till the final, then i lost the plot. i’d stiffened up while talking Subies with a random, so i grabbed BennyMac and went for a roll around on the bikes to get the legs moving. once we were up at the gate tho, nerves set in. i’d scored the last gate, gate eight, and it was wet. stuffing about trying to get a secure grip meant that as the gate dropped, my front wheel twisted, and i came out of the gate at least three bike lengths behind.

cue Violet breaking her own rules and going as flat out as i could, determined not to be left behind. by the last berm i’d caught up with the last rider, pulled a swoop underneath her, and almost made it – almost. apparently she had a “moment” when she saw me coming and t-boned into me. i ended up with her bike on top of me, and tho we both scrambled to get back on and finish, she reacted quicker than i did and i came in last, still grinning like a fool all the way, nothing much hurt but my pride.

we finally got home that night about 9.30, trying to get Gazzz to stop talking for five minutes was an almost impossible task!

that night was packing up stuff for Daz against his extended stay in hospital, and talking more, a few drinks, and talking. bikes, cars, tracks, bikes…finally to bed, not much sleep and stressing about getting home…

back to reality, and exhausted and flat for the week. too many late nights talking on Facebook to BennyMac, too many late night phone calls. back on the Manik, clocking up the k’s and the confidence, this week i even tackled two hills that had been daunting me. rode in thru the self-opening doors of the shopping centre before i realised i was still on the bike, even that was a laugh!

so…i’m booked to fly to Adelaide for a long weekend of racing these daunting tracks of BennyMac’s, and to catch up with the Radelaide oldschool meet. now all i have to do, is to convince the man to come back with me and race Sawtell

came home one afternoon, it was lovely and warm, been for a good ride. head to the bathroom, *sniff* *sniff* WTH? has the neighbour’s cat been in here? blamed it on the dog perhaps having had an accident, wash her blankets and the floor mat. a couple of hours later, enter the bathroom, *sniff* *cough* *choke* pissy smell is even stronger. proceed to wash the floor and wipe the bath out for good measure.

shower that night, and the smell is literally stomach-churning. rummage out some caustic soda to pour down the sink, bath, and floor drains with unfortunately no abatement of the smell. check under the dog basket for old bones, anything…still no joy. by this time, the smell had permeated the entire house and it’s pelting down rain so i can’t just fling all the windows open. decide to do a final tour of the bathroom/laundry….and find a mostly empty can of my designer dog’s favourite, Fish For Dogs, in the laundry bin.

i’d been in such a hurry to feed her, lock her away and get on my bike that i’d forgotten to chuck the can in the outside bin….grumble grumble you farkin’ fool, Violet.

i’d gone down to do my usual post office box run, had a bit of a wander around the shops, and decided to roll across town to the other pet supplies store just because it was a beautiful day and i wanted to extend my ride. all well and good until i was heading home (west) across the Bray St lights and an ignorant fat b@stard in a fourby decided to turn left across the pedestrian crossing without looking. being very much a newbie to riding in general, and more so road riding, i tend to use the footpaths rather than brave the cars on the highway when crossing from one side of town to the other, and normally don’t mind dismounting for lights, but these had changed just as i rode up, so i kept on going.

this twat had started turning, probably hadn’t looked to see past the pedestrians on his side of the road/crossing, and stopped when i braked and balanced, looked me in the eye, and then kept coming. i’d started to pedal again so cue Violet coming to another dead stop with no time to gracefully dismount. i was inches off his bullbar by then…..and considering i’m *ahem* resting on the bar when i have my toes on the ground, it was a very ungainly almost-fall, shin hard up against the front tyre and bruising myself on the bar with him sounding off and continuing to roll forward. thank goodness i was on the Manik with decent stopping power or i would have been just another Nissan Patrol hood ornament.

lucky the only real injury was to my pride, tho i now have a new tyre burn on my shin and an assorted scatter of bruises…..

Nicole is a 1982 Apollo Spitfire 20″ which my good friend Evan found for me in the dark depths of the Bike Recycler’s Shed that he runs in Coffs Harbour. She was named by the guys in honour of the bike Nicole Kidman rode in BMX Bandits Sadly, CHESS Employment who have been funding the project have decided to terminate this valuable resource, it closes in two weeks. My friend and his team were recycling and selling bikes to the unemployed, pensioners, students and low income earners for as little as $40.00, and i was absolutely stoked that he found me this little gem! Nicole came complete with Araya rims, Suzue hubs, Tange frame and forks, and two of the original Apollo Spitfire pads.

Nicole has just come back from the final touches to her makeover, courtesy of Ventoux Cycles here in Coffs Harbour. Nicole underwent a few cosmetic surgeries to have her complete and race fit for the Retro Grands, where the bikes have to be in original condition with NOS or era-specific reproduction parts. This meant sourcing one-piece cranks, rat-trap pedals, and Comp III tyres, including both purchases from members of  the OZBMX forum – thanks, guys! and donations from The Reverend and prosixtyfour. My friend from the Bike Recycling Shed also donated me a couple of chainrings to choose from.

so for the grand total of $240.00, here is Nicole looking decidedly cool for a survivor. She makes her debut in the Grands at the end of the month, hopefully her rider will be up for the challenge! Like her owner, Nicole’s obviously been around the block a few times, but still has a lot of riding days left in her

i’m still finding it a bit of a struggle, my wrenched knee is still niggling. i’ve been mapping my errand runs on map my ride but i’m not happy with the discrepancies between it’s distance travelled log and Google maps. a simple (and cheap!) cycle computer has come up for sale on Rotorburn, so i’ve snaffled that one and the seller has even offered to set it up for me, very helpful according to mapmyride, i’ve only covered 71k’s in three weeks, that can’t be right!

between riding and gardening, i’m feeling pretty good in my body. i’ve got an appetite, a voracious appetite, for the first time in months. it’s got me cooking again, and eating well. emotionally, i’m still very much out of sorts, still trying to come to grips with what my ex did to me, finding myself crying at odd moments and having strange dreams.

the riding endorphins are helping tho.

the last few years have been hell. i already live with Fibromyalgia and chronic myofascial pain syndrome. i’m unable to use ordinary pain relief so i basically have to tough it out or use a cocktail of antidepressants and expensive experimental drugs. the side effects are worse than the fibromyalgia, so i try to do it on my own. four years ago i suffered multiple miscarriages, survived a cheating abusive relationship, and began to move forward when it was discovered i had a benign but proliferative tumour on my ovary. i battled for 18 months to have the GP refer me for surgery. by the time i did go under the knife, i was 22kg overweight and very, very ill. the six-week checkup showed i had another in my kidney and three more in my uterus.

my quest to restore my health took me back to BMX. i got stuck into training, went back to racing, worked out in the gym four days a week. i was fit and feeling physically great despite the worry of the other tumours hanging over my head. i still suffered depression, anxiety, and constant suicidal thoughts, but i just tried to get on with it. last November i raced Manning Valley and blitzed the day. i was stoked. then a planned trip to Nerang fell through, i fell out with my trainer over his lack of support and last-minute bailing on that trip, and not long after my beloved Feargus, my Morris ute, was stolen. although i got him back, he’d been damaged. at the same time, i met someone with whom i’ve had a messy, on-again-off-again relationship with that ended in the wee small hours of last Friday morning with him repeatedly holding me in a headlock and driving me into the ground. needless to say, i have pressed assault charges. we go to court in four days.

so here i am, without a licence for 12 months. i’m determined to use this as a cycling challenge. Casa Menagerie is only 20 minutes walk to the Coffs CBD, mostly downhill. coming back up is a different matter…especially as the bike i’m commuting on is a 2006 Norco Manik hardtail weighing 16.8kg

i’m a week in, after not doing my gym routine for near on two months. i’ve lost weight and not in a good way, thru stress and anxiety. i haven’t been eating properly at all, so it’s time to turn that around too.

i think i’ll go Friday to Friday in diary format for a bit, just to document myself and this getting back to riding thing.

Friday 26th August: home from the police station, didn’t move much today. tried to not think so i wouldn’t go into panic. Saturday likewise was a writeoff. Sunday out to stay with a friend. Monday, a short 20min ride on the hardtail, mostly on the flat. really noticing how my aerobic capacity is down from where i was at Christmas. Tuesday was a walk to town, dinner at the local, and a friend brought me home with my groceries. later it was a 5k walk home from his, longer than i thought in the dark!! wednesday a short town commute, coming back i hit up a hill i’d been avoiding and almost made it to the top. stoked! thursday was a short town ride again to see the police and Legal Aid. back up home a different way, different hill, almost made it to the top again

pretty happy with that week, considering i have bruises and a wrenched knee to contend with.

i’m starting this pretty underweight at 66kg. hopefully i’ll be putting some mass back on. i’ve just downloaded the upgraded version of iMapmyride, so i’ll be documenting my rides on that as well.

part of my problem has been i’ve let my personal life interfere in my traiining instead of using my training to get thru the struggles. so, with the help of another health care worker and a mountainbiking friend who needs a lab rat for his training course, i’m back on track with my gym work, and will be training more on my Norco hardtail in the very near future. so far this week i’ve done three days of my full routine at the gym. going back to it i can feel that i’ve lost condition, i’ve also lost weight that i couldn’t afford to lose, but i’ve managed to do it all with only a little residual soreness.

i’ve also started a thread on one of my bike forums, so i’m sure that will help me keep on track as well

not sure yet if i’ll ride the upcoming State of Origin. i still haven’t got the confidence in my ability that i personally need, personal issues have rocked me harder than i’d like to admit. but hopefully, the treatment i’m getting from a kinesiologist next week will address some of those issues.

the morning went smoothly enough that i got to the gym earlier than planned, which meant i had time to just flow with my full routine. at the moment i’m up to:

full stretch routine, including 4 x sets of 20 ab leg lifts on the ball

5 mins on the crosstrainer + 2 mins pedalling backwards

3 x sets of 10 hamstring lifts with 2kg

3 x sets of 10 leg lifts on the frame swapping off with 3 x sets of 10 forward bends + twist with a 5kg weight held to my chest.

3 x sets of 15 triceps lifts with 5kg swapped off with 3 x sets of horizontal flys with 4kg

3 x sets of 10 single arm rows with 6kg swapped off with 3 x sets of compound overheads with 4kg

3 x sets of 10 saggital lunges with 4kg weights  - each leg goes in front 3 times

3 x sets of  10 flys from the push-up position with 4kg weights swapped off with 3 x sets of 10 shrugs

3 x sets of 10 girl’s pushups swapped off with 3 x sets of 10 dips off the bench

3 x sets of 10 per side, side bends off the frame with 5kg held to my chest

6 x sets of 20 triceps pull-downs with 2kg weight, stretching in between

3 x sets of 5 assisted pull-ups in 4 hand positions (total 20 per set) pulling up 1/3 of my own body weight.

back on the crosstrainer for 10 minutes to warm down.

the whole routine takes me about 2 hours, and i’m still pretty done by the end of it. today was good, i took a little more time than usual and had a talking book on the iPod, so the time flew…